In my last post entitled “Be aware of your instincts”; I discussed “The Intellect” and how it interacts with our three-part nature. I stated that while it is a valuable tool in solving empirical problems, it is not very useful alone in solving the one-of-a-kind personal problems we find in life. I have already shared with you a few of my successes; now let me share with you an area of personal setback. It's not an area I'm proud of but I share it in order help you to not make the same mistakes I made and to say that it's not important what happens to us in life. It's how we respond to what happens to us that really counts.
As a matter of fact, if you are like me, the more I use my intellect alone to solve personal problems it seems the more personal problems I get. For example, early in life as a result of my engineering background and problem solving ability, I concluded that I should easily be able to find a mate and life's partner. I thought if she was attractive, articulate and intelligent then we would make a good couple. Sound a bit chauvinistic, don't I? Boy, was I wrong!
It took me 3 divorces to figure out that there is much more to finding a mate than their looks, conversation and intelligence. I found out that I should be aware of their home life, interaction with their parents, past history, emotional stability and many other things. I also needed to be aware of how we connected and interacted together on a personal basis. However, I only saw my potential mates as I wanted to see them and not for whom they really were.
In seeing them that way, my mind created a person that never really existed. This wasn't their problem; it was mine. I gave them attributes they never really had and assumed their life’s goals were the same as mine. However, I did determine an interconnection between our intellect and awareness.
Wikipedia states that Awareness is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects, or sensory patterns. Had I been more aware and in the moment, I would have paid more attention to those areas where I sensed incompatibilities in my relationships. Understand that I am not blaming anyone. I am just stating I should have examined my feelings more closely at those times. However, since I had always created my relationships in the same manner, it wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I was ready to try something new.
As a result I spent a number of years using my intellect to learn about personal and interpersonal relationships and the secrets to their success. After applying these principles I was finally able to sustain a good relationship for more than a few years. My point is that without this proper combination of intellect and awareness, I would’ve been doomed to failure.
Now relationships aren't the only areas of life where we continually butt our heads against the wall. Other areas may include health, finances, purpose for living, etc. and we will discuss these in future posts. Until then here's hoping that you live today and every day passionately and with purpose. Thank you and God bless!