In my last post entitled “Be aware of your instincts”; I discussed “The Intellect” and how it interacts with our three-part nature. I
stated that while it is a valuable tool in solving empirical problems, it is
not very useful alone in solving the one-of-a-kind personal problems we find in
life. I have already shared with you a few of my successes; now let me share
with you an area of personal setback. It's not an area I'm proud of but I share
it in order help you to not make the same mistakes I made and to say that it's
not important what happens to us in life. It's how we respond to what happens to
us that really counts.
As a matter of fact, if you are like me, the
more I use my intellect alone to solve personal problems it seems the more
personal problems I get. For example, early in life as a result of my engineering
background and problem solving ability, I concluded that I should easily be
able to find a mate and life's partner. I thought if she was attractive,
articulate and intelligent then we would make a good couple. Sound a bit
chauvinistic, don't I? Boy, was I wrong!
It took me 3 divorces to figure out that there
is much more to finding a mate than their looks, conversation and intelligence.
I found out that I should be aware of their home life, interaction with their
parents, past history, emotional stability and many other things. I also needed
to be aware of how we connected and interacted together on a personal basis.
However, I only saw my potential mates as I wanted to see them and not for whom
they really were.
In
seeing them that way, my mind created a person that never really existed. This
wasn't their problem; it was mine. I gave them attributes they never really had
and assumed their life’s goals were the same as mine. However, I did determine
an interconnection between our intellect and awareness.
Wikipedia
states that Awareness
is the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events, objects, or sensory
patterns. Had I been more aware and
in the moment, I would have paid more attention to those areas where I sensed
incompatibilities in my relationships. Understand that I am not blaming anyone.
I am just stating I should have examined my feelings more closely at those
times. However, since I had always created my relationships in the same manner,
it wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I was ready to try something new.
As a result I spent a number of years using my intellect to learn about
personal and interpersonal relationships and the secrets to their success.
After applying these principles I was finally able to sustain a good
relationship for more than a few years. My
point is that without this proper combination of intellect and awareness, I would’ve
been doomed to failure.
Now relationships aren't the only areas of life where we continually butt
our heads against the wall. Other areas may include health, finances, purpose
for living, etc. and we will discuss these in future posts. Until then here's
hoping that you live today and every day passionately and with purpose. Thank
you and God bless!
