Tough Times Part 3 - Cause and Effect

In this post I will introduce “The Law of Cause and Effect”. However, prior to doing so I’d like to clarify how those impartial forces, factors and issues (or stuff, if you like, that I discussed in my last post) directly affect our health.

If you remember I said this stuff exists in our lives whether we like it or not. It doesn’t ask our permission to be here. It just is! I also stated that this stuff could control us and our response to life so much so that we feel victimized by life. Or, we can become empowered as we exert dominion over this same stuff by responding to it in a thoughtful and organized manner.

Now don't get me wrong, I’m not advocating that we go around looking for tough times & problem areas in order to feel empowered. There’s enough stress to go around for everyone and to purposely seek more would be foolish! What I’m saying is that when tough times occur we should trust in our innate ability to take charge and deal with them in a forthright manner.

While on the subject of stress let me share some important information. Stress is not necessarily a bad thing. Cases of acute stress lead to the “fight or flight” response, which, in most cases, saves our life. However this type of stress normally occurs over a short period of time and subsides once the perceived danger disappears. When stress occurs adrenaline is secreted into our body by the adrenal glands. Adrenaline increases our heart rate, constricts our blood vessels and dilates our air passages. This provides the extra energy needed to activate the “fight or flight” response and deal with the immediate danger.

Let me provide you with an example. I’m a former Marine Officer and Naval Aviator. I flew from the decks of 4 different aircraft carriers. My most stressful times occurred during our approach and landing back aboard the ship. Night landings were tough and night landings during bad weather were extremely stressful. However after the landing (or trap) my stress level was greatly reduced and my body had time to recover.

Nowadays, in modern society, we are faced with continual stress and the continuous release of adrenaline into our bodies. This isn’t a good thing.  Many organizations have concluded that stress is the number 1 cause of sickness and disease. It has been reported that up to 90% of doctor visits are directly related to the effects of stress.

Much of this stress is unnecessary and caused by our response to the stuff discussed earlier. Examples of this stuff are: broken relationships, financial hardships, sickness, disease, death, natural disasters, uncaring people, etc. We can avoid much of this stress by choosing our response to the circumstances that life presents.

The Law of Cause and Effect simply says: “We Choose How We Experience Life.” We can either allow the circumstances in life to control us (be at the effect of life) where we experience life by continually looking over our shoulders with a sense of impending doom. Or, we can respond to these same circumstances in a manner that keeps us calm, confident, creative and connected to our Inner Voice which continually directs us towards our goals and ultimate life’s purpose (be at cause of life). The choice is ours!

In closing let me share with you a quotation from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Shallow men believe in luck,

believe in circumstances.

Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

Stay strong my friends!

Tough Times Part 2 - Empowered or Victimized?

Based on my last post I think it's fair to say that most of the circumstances in which we find ourselves are impartial. By this I mean they occur whether we like it or not and don't ask our permission to be here.

Also in my last post I used the example that a hurricane had entered the Gulf of Mexico and how weathermen responded positively and past hurricane victims responded negatively to this event. The point is that a hurricane “Is What It Is”! It’s a force of nature and, in most cases, will weaken, strengthen and its path be determined based upon atmospheric conditions, not our likes or dislikes.

The impartial events that occur on a regular basis in our lives (financial crisis, natural disasters, broken relationships, sickness and death, etc.) are there whether we like it or not. It's our resistance to and the emotions we attach to these events that cause us additional suffering and stress. Remember, stress is the number 1 cause of sickness and disease.

Have you ever noticed that the event causing us the stress is located outside of us? Have you also noticed the pain we feel that's related to this event is located inside of us? The point is that we are in charge of how we respond to external drama.

Now, I am not saying that we have to like what's going on in our life. What I am saying is the quality of our life is affected by the manner in which we respond to what's going on. This brings to mind the Serenity Prayer, which is recited at all Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. It reads:

"God grant us the serenity to

accept the things we cannot change,

courage to change the things we can,

and wisdom to know the difference."

You’ve got to understand that WE choose the quality of our lives. WE, CAN TAKE CHARGE of our response to the circumstances and situations in our life or, we can allow these circumstances and situations to take charge of us.

For instance, in the example of a hurricane,

WE take charge when we:

1. Determine a safe evacuation location based on the storms predicted path.

2. Make sure that our vehicles are gassed up and working properly.

3. Secure our homes and businesses to the best of our ability.

Notice that all of these activities begin with things WE CAN DO. We become empowered when WE take charge of how WE respond. Then, no matter what happens WE'RE READY TO DEAL WITH IT!

The HURRICANE takes charge of us when we think or say:

1. “What's going to happen to me now?”

2. I hope my car doesn't break down on me.

3 This storm is going to destroy me!

Notice in the above examples that WE seem to be hopeless and helpless as this same hurricane seemingly has its way with us. We then become the object/victim of its actions.

“It's up to us whether we become empowered by circumstances or become victimized by them.”

In my next post I will discuss “The Law of Cause and Effect” and how we can positively take charge of our lives.

If you have any questions or would like to comment, please fill free to do so.

Until next time, Thank you and God bless.

Tough Times Part 1 - It Is What It Is!

In this series of posts I will discuss how to handle the negative circumstances and situations that occur in our lives and give us the feeling that it’s spiraling out of control. These posts will build on the framework I created in my series on belief/faith/sight and their influence on how we experience life.

The 1st thing we have to understand is that the negative circumstances and situations we experience do not ask our permission to be here. If they did we would just say No and that would be the end of it. We have to understand that these circumstances and situations are going to exist in our lives whether we like it or not. They just are!

What you may not know is that life is a participative event and we choose how we experience it. Either we can allow circumstances and situations to overwhelm and control us so much so that we feel as if we are poor pitiful creatures to whom life shows no mercy. Or, rather than becoming enfeebled by what's going on in our life, we can choose to become empowered by it. Let me provide you with an example.

I live in the city of Houston on the Texas Gulf Coast. Whenever hurricane season occurs many people here become nervous, especially those who experienced hurricanes Katrina, Rita, Carla or Ike. Many of them will become fearful and walk around with a sense of impending doom during the entire season. And… let me tell you if a hurricane enters into the Gulf of Mexico many of them will shift into panic mode.

On the other hand, weather forecasters and meteorologists (when you watch them on TV) seem to become excited during hurricane season. If the same hurricane I spoke of earlier enters into the Gulf of Mexico these folks seem to shift into a mode of giddiness and pure joy. Also I don't know what sense it makes but can you believe they even talk about getting into airplanes and flying into the eye of the storm?

The point I am making is that a hurricane is a hurricane and it is what it is! It’s a force of nature and doesn’t care if we allow it into our lives or not. It’s how we choose to experience it that counts. In the same manner that hurricanes exist; broken relationships, poor finances, mental and physical illnesses, sickness and even death exist and do not ask our permission to become part of our lives. They just are and its how we choose to experience them that will affect the quality of our life.

Sure, it would be great if people took our feelings into consideration before they act the way they do towards us. It would also be wonderful if we were in perfect health and did not have to be concerned about our health or that of a loved one. You can choose whatever negative circumstances or situation you like that is affecting you and imagine how it would be if it did not exist. The point is, it does exist and it is what it is!

What we have to understand and what I will cover in upcoming posts is how to experience these tough times in our lives in a manner that keeps us calm, confident, creative and most important of all, connected to our inner voice (which directs us towards our goals and ultimate life's purpose).

Until next time, Peace and God bless!

An Easter Message

During this Easter Season, I would like to share my reflections on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. I know that He was born into this world, experienced both good times and tough times, separated Himself from others in order to pray as well as felt physical and emotional pain.

He said that He came so that we can learn how to have a relationship with God, the father. He also said that anyone who knew the will of His father and did it was His mother, brother or sister. I think what Jesus was trying to say was: "If we know the will of God and do it, then we can treat Him (Jesus) just like family". Which means we can call on Him at any time. In my mind there is no doubt that Jesus really is the Son of God.

But do you want to know what really excites me? This Easter season is what really gets my blood boiling and recharges my faith. This is the season that reminds me of His true purpose. Yes, I know that He was falsely accused, beaten and tried in both the Jewish and Roman courts. I also know that He was convicted and sentenced to die.

When the Roman governor (who knew Jesus was innocent of these charges) offered to execute Barabbas (a known criminal) in place of Jesus, the crowd pitched such a fit that the governor went ahead and signed Jesus’ execution papers. As a result, Jesus was executed on a cross at Calvary. So far, nothing happened to Jesus that hasn't happened to many other innocent victims that were executed. However, now it’s time for the rest of the story.

I believe that the purpose of the death and resurrection was to show us that our life is more than an earthen vessel. When Jesus’ physical body expired on the cross His life force, or spirit, some say went down into hell to handle His business with the devil and show him what ‘s up. I also like to think that He also went and had a talk with His father (ABBA). Then on the 3rd day He came back and picked up that worthless lump of clay that was His body to show others that there is life after death. Didn’t Jesus say He would come back for us?

I believe that the cross was not an implement of death after all but a pedestal where Jesus was lifted up so that everyone could relate to His humanity and call on Him whenever they wish. The real purpose of the Easter Season is to teach us not to fear death, to show us that death has no sting and inform us that the devil is a liar. This is the reason that Easter excites me so much!

And oh, by the way, the Aramaic word "ABBA" is really an intimate translation for the word father. The Aramaic word "BAR" translates as “son of”. Therefore BAR-ABBAS really means son of the father. Aren’t we sons and daughters of God, the father? Jesus was substituted on the cross for us and our sins as well as to show us what’s REALLY UP.

Have a Happy Easter, I will!

Belief, Faith, Sight - Part 4 - Do Your Beliefs Work for You?

This is my final post in this series on belief; faith, sight and their importance in helping us experience a full and successful life. It's important we recognize a successful life does not necessarily mean we will experience wealth, public favor or eminence. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines success as: a favorable result or outcome. It's my assertion that a successful life is one in which we experience peace (even in the midst of chaos) and attain the desires of our heart.

As stated in earlier posts, our beliefs influence our faith. Our faith then influences what we find (see) in this physical world. It naturally follows that flawed beliefs lead to flawed conclusions. These flawed conclusions lead to illusions (which distort reality). The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines illusions as: perception of something objectively existing in such a way as to cause misinterpretation of its actual nature.

The problem is that we attribute qualities or traits to an object (person, place, or thing) that aren't part of its nature. This is why many of us become stressed while going from illusion to illusion believing that life would be better if we could just find this, that or the other thing. We don’t realize that the solution is internal and in most cases resolved by examining our core beliefs. Let me provide an example.

It’s public knowledge I have gone through 3 divorces. It was not until I was willing to face this painful area and found the courage to ask some really tough questions that I was able to take steps to resolve my issues. What I found was as a young boy I went through a very hurtful experience that left me with feelings of not being good enough, unlovable and not worthy.  This event, unbeknownst to me, left me emotionally scarred. It also left me subconsciously avoiding any area of life that included the possibility of my being rejected.

Upon examination, I was able to find the painful emotions that attached themselves to this event and determine they were value judgments that were not true and nonexistent. Now, when I find myself in similar circumstances or situations I separate my emotions from the event. I recognize that while my emotions are an indicator of how I feel at a particular point in time they do not indicate who I really am. These feelings result from my core beliefs.

Once you are able to clear up those areas of your life that aren't working you will begin to reduce the stress in your life. And as you know reducing stress in your life goes a long way to improving your health. In conclusion, a successful life begins with a belief system that consistently works.

What areas of your life aren't working? Is it your finances, relationships, health, home or work environment, etc.? If you like I will e-mail you a questionnaire that will help you to identify those areas as well as the possible emotions and value judgments attached to them.  E-mail me at Al@asapresents.com to receive this free offer.

I hope that you have enjoyed this series on belief; faith, sight and their importance in helping us experience a full and successful life. Let me know what you think. Peace and God bless!      

Belief/Faith/Sight - Part 3 - Seek & You Will Find!

This is my latest post in the series on belief, faith, sight and their importance in helping us to experience a full and successful life.

In my earlier post I discussed the relationship between belief and faith. I stated that our core beliefs are directly related to our quality of life. Core beliefs can be positive or negative and either help or hinder how we experience life. They also act as our subconscious guide to life.

Our negative core beliefs are the primary reasons we have “problem areas” in life. These problem areas are the result of hurtful or painful events that we experienced in the past. These events left us feeling not very good about ourselves and with very strong negative emotions. As a result our subconscious mind influences us to do anything possible to avoid any circumstance or situation that might even remotely remind us of these fearful events and their attached emotions.

As stated in my last post, we will continue to experience these problem areas until we have the courage to face the fears and emotions contained therein. We do this simply by recognizing that we are our own worst enemy. We attached these hurtful sentiments of not being worthy or not being good enough to ourselves. These sentiments are value judgments. They are wrong and exist only in the shadows of our mind. If we have enough courage to ask ourselves the right questions we will find out that these value judgments, just like shadows, are Paper Tigers and have no substance.

Now here is where the rubber meets the road. How many of us know that if we believe in something and seek it with all of our heart, we will find it? Our quality of life starts in our mind and manifests itself in our visible world. Norman Vincent Peale once said: “In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it.”     

If we believe we will find peace in the midst of chaos we will find it. If we believe we will find love in the midst of hate we will find it

The key is that belief precedes faith and faith initiates action. Our actions then lead to results.  It’s a process and the output of every process is a conclusion or result. The circumstance or situation in which we find ourselves does not matter. What matters is that our core beliefs be grounded in a sound belief system that activates our faith to obtain consistent, positive results.

This is why we must continually review our belief system to be certain that it leads us in the direction of our highest and best good because “A successful life is nothing more than a state of mind.”

In my next and final post in this series, I will provide practical examples on how to implement this concept into our daily life. Thanks for your interest.

Peace & God Bless.  

Belief/Faith/Sight - Part 2 - Is Your Faith Misplaced?

This is the 2nd post in my series on belief, faith, sight and their importance in helping us to experience a full and successful life. As stated in my earlier post, belief is defined as: a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing.

I also stated that core beliefs are something that we just inherently know to be true and act as our guide to life. These beliefs can be either positive or negative and can have an exhilarating or destructive effect on how we experience life.

Negative core beliefs hinder us from reaching our goals in life as well as from finding our ultimate life's purpose. They are typically formed early in life as the result of some hurtful or painful event that we experienced. They are hidden in our subconscious and the reason we have to repeat certain aspects of our life over and over again until we get it right.

Because they are hidden in our subconscious we are not normally aware of their affect upon us. It is also important to understand that these negative core beliefs are connected to our sense of self-worth and leave us with feelings of being: unworthy, unlovable, not good enough, imperfect, unwanted, etc.

Many of us believe that we experience problem areas in life because we lack sufficient faith in our abilities to overcome them. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our faith is strong and it is what prevents us from being successful! We are just misplacing it!  Let me see if I can explain what’s really taking place. My last post defined faith as: something that is believed especially with strong conviction.

We earlier stated that negative core beliefs formed as the result of some hurtful or painful event that we experienced. Allow me to share with you that it is not the event we experienced which is causing us the pain; but the emotion we attached to this event is what we are really trying to avoid. Remember these strong emotions left us feeling as if we were: unworthy, unlovable, not good enough, etc. The result is that our subconscious mind will have us do anything possible to avoid circumstances or situations that even remotely remind us of these feelings. We then make excuses, blame other people, places or things and fail to take responsibility for not being successful in this aspect of our life.

Now for the good news! These feelings that we have about ourselves are wrong. They are value judgments and do not exist except in our mind. Has anyone ever gone to the doctor and had a pound of unworthy, unlovable or not good enough removed? 

What we really need to do is have the courage to look at every one of these areas of our lives that aren’t working and ask, “Why do I feel this way?” We are placing our faith in either a conclusion that we've made about ourselves or a value judgement.  Both of which are just "Paper Tigers" and do not exist. It's not a of lack of faith after all; it's simply a matter of our misplacing it.

In my next post I will discuss the connection between faith and how we experience this physical world.

If you wish to learn more about this subject matter, contact me through the information below to schedule my seminar/workshop entitled “Straight Talk About Success and Personal Growth” for your group or organization.

Peace and God Bless…..Al